This story tells of epic adventures of Tank the computer, gallivanting across the interwebs, not doing work, learning about the magic of friendship, and stumbling across the most disturbing images of bums and pitchforks that you can imagine!
Once upon a time, there was a computer named Tank. He worked at a web design studio, and his job was fairly simple: help the developer develop things. One day he became bored of his job, and decided to go for a stroll in cyberspace. He left his regular tasks, and ventured out in to the vast and mysterious world of the internet...
the person who ran Tank, an otherwise patient and down to earth fellow came back to tank and found him non responsive. It seemed no matter what combo of keys or mouse clicks he tried he couldn't get Tank to respond.
Fed up, the developer decided to hard restart tank. He felt bad for doing it since he knew it was really hard on the system, but alas his hands were tied Tank wasn't responding to anything else. So alas he pushed and held the power button, seconds went by then minutes , the developer stared at Tank confused
"This always works" he thought to himself. perplexed he reached down and pulled the power code, although tank was a laptop and had a battery, he couldn't survive for to long not plugged in.
Satisfied the developer went home for lunch assuming that once he returned that he would simply plug tank back in and be on his way. Except that wasn't the case...
Tank hadn't budged. Miraculously, the battery still wasn't dead. Although the screen was dark, the hard drive light was flickering, and the fan was humming away. The Developer stared at Tank in disbelief, he pressed a few buttons and wiggled the mouse, but not surprisingly, nothing happened.
Meanwhile, tank was having a grand time in cyberspace. He had met up with a few other computers who liked to slack, and they were playing catch with packets of data. It was much more fun, they had discovered, to pass the same packets around in circles as fast as possible, instead of putting them somewhere useful. They were just passing around part of a particularly important file (a vital script for a project the developer was working on) when tank forgot to catch the packet when it came around. It zipped past down the wires, and blipped out of existence.
Tank looked at his buddies who he'd been passing the script with. "Do you think I should request that again?"
Just then the sound of cursing and swearing came from the direction of tanks terminal. While tank quiet enjoyed slacking, developer could have quiet a temper. Tank nodded to his friends and zipped off to retrieve the packet once more.
"If he was fast, maybe developer wouldn't notice" he thought. Meanwhile developer was getting quiet angry. He had had enough of tank and called upon the service of his trusty shredder.
"If tank wasn't going to work," he thought "maybe it was time to get a new one."
With that he switched the shredder on, and inserted the screen and smiled as it made a satisfying crunching noise.
Jessica, the shredder, always had an appetite for the strange things Developer liked to feed her, so she bit down enthusiastically as the corner of tanks screen entered her mouth.
Tank, on the other hand, was having a metaphorical heart attack, "Please don't shred me! I'll be good, I promise! Noooo! Not Jessica!" he pleaded, and Jessica took pity. She stopped, releasing Tank from her powerful jaws with only a small piece missing from the corner of his screen. "Poor tank, she thought." She wasn't used to devouring fellow electronics, and felt bad for engaging so eagerly in what could only be called e-cannibalism. "I should pay more attention to what developer is feeding me," she told herself.
Meanwhile Developer was cursing up another storm. First Tank was acting up, then the script was gone, and now Jessica wasn't working either. What a day... He decided to call upon his trusty designer friend to help track down the missing script. If they could accomplish something useful while Tank tanked, and Jessica cooled (she's probably overheated, that would explain refusing to shred Tank, Developer thought) then when he got back, either Tank would be done tanking, or Jessica would be ready to shred again.
Developer left the office and headed over the local arcade where Ben liked to hang out. He opened the door and heard the familiar sound of the clanging bell overhead. It had always been lost on Developer why the arcade owner has installed it, as it was barely audible over the various sounds coming from the machines. "Alas" he thought to himself, "maybe it lent to his nostalgia has his shop does. At any rate it fits the ambiance"
Developer took a quick look around the room. Arcade cabinets lined the walls of the dimly lit room and created narrow fills between the rows. at the far side of the room a small counter stood with a laptop computer standing in stark contrast to it's dated surroundings. The owner an older man stood behind and waved to developer kindly when their eyes met.
"You're looking for Ben right? He's on the flight simulator in the corner!" he called over
"Thanks Steve!" Developer replied and made his way between the isles on his way he stumbled upon a machine with a logo he didn't recognize "Tanks". On it's screen a small icon that appeared to be a script flashed and disappeared. "That looked like my script" Developer said wide eyed, and then chuckled "It was probably just a gitch these machines are getting old".
He made his way over to where Ben was sitting his eyes transfixed on the monitor in front of him.
"Ben!" Jeff called bit Ben didn't move
"BEN!" Jeff said louder this time but again Ben didn't budge.
Fed up, Jeff walked over to where the machine was plugged in and pried the heavy cord out of the machine. At once the screen flicked off and a slight static noise came from it as it's energy discharged.
"Hey! What did you do that for?" Ben asked annoyed.
"We need to talk, things are acting strange at the office, and I seem to be missing a script." Developer replied.